This disease can be very distressing emotionally. I can see that in others.
Some of them fall into a deep hole, so to speak, and don’t come out of it anymore. I try to make sure that that doesn’t happen to me. I’ve got a good sense of humor, which helps, and you also need to get rid of your vanity, especially as a woman. You’re not only getting older, but you also have the oxygen machine with the tubes. I can’t move the way I’d like to anymore. I know what it’s like to walk along the street and not be able to go on because you can’t breathe. You dread having to walk in the cold. It’s no wonder that this can get you down. It used to get to me too. But I’m still curious to see what’s going on outside my apartment.
Emotionally, I’m quite well prepared in many aspects. If I start feeling unwell in a situation, a lot goes on inside me mentally. If I notice that I’m starting to panic, I stop and collect myself and then I can avoid really bad breathing difficulties. I always have to calm down first, and try to breathe slowly. I then prefer to stand rather than sit down. I’m really good at calming myself down. I always need a bit of time, but it works really well.
But I still sometimes have serious breathing difficulties. For example, I once thought I’d have to call an ambulance when I was in bed at night. I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t lie down anymore, I sat there and my heart was racing. Not being able to breathe really is dreadful.
My breathing difficulties were particularly bad when I got upset, especially when I was still working. My breath was just taken away. I sometimes get upset about things that I never knew upset me. Something doesn’t go quite the way it should and then you suppress the negative feeling and it affects your breathing.