Looking after myself helps me

I often have headaches, and have done for quite a while. For a long time I didn’t see any connection to my period. At some point I realized that I almost always have headaches about two days before I get my period and I sometimes still have a headache on the first day of my period too.

I started getting more symptoms after around the age of 45. About three or four days to one week before the bleeding starts, I’m in a very bad mood. I just used to feel a bit cranky at first, but over the last two years I’ve really started to feel slightly depressed. I am quick to cry and easily break out in tears over the slightest things. I don’t only get into a bad mood, I also feel down and don’t feel like talking to anyone.

Plus, my breasts start feeling extremely tender. But that just started about a year ago. At first I even thought it might be a tumor, because I didn’t know what else it could be.

My symptoms have gotten more difficult to cope with and more extreme over time. They bother me more than they used to.

My menstrual cycle is completely irregular and lasts anywhere between 24 and 45 days. It’s not easy to be ready for it, and I never really kept track of it. About six months ago I started keeping closer track of my cycle. I have migraines now and then and was never sure whether they were period-related or not. So I tried monitoring things by keeping a migraine diary. That’s when I saw that the headaches usually started about two days before my period. And recently it’s even been about a week before. As well as keeping notes about the headaches, I also kept track of when I felt depressed. Then I saw the connection between my symptoms and my period. Now that I’ve realized that, I can deal with them a lot better.

Almost everything gets better when I get my period. I sometimes still have a headache on the first day, but all of the other symptoms quickly disappear. It’s such a relief when that happens.

Once  I had realized that there was a connection between my mood swings and my menstrual cycle, it felt like quite a revelation. I had an explanation and that helped me a lot.

Sometimes my mood can change quite suddenly, even while doing things like just sitting at a café with friends. I could never understand why. But it was a relief to find out that it had to do with my period. When I talked with my girlfriends they all said that they experience similar mood swings. It was really good to talk. I didn’t feel alone with my problem. Some of them said they feel like that too and even cry sometimes.

My partner has dealt with depression in the past and we can talk openly about these kinds of things. Sometimes I just burst into tears for no reason. He used to put it down to my general disposition. Now it’s also easier for him to understand because he knows that it’s related to my menstrual cycle. I feel like he takes good care of me.

Recently he told me that we’d have to make sure I do something nice on the days when I’m feeling down. That’s his way of approaching things. But most of all I have to look after myself. Sometimes I can do with a little distraction – like curling up at home and watching a good film. I try to avoid having serious talks when I feel that way. Sometimes I don’t want to talk at all, and sometimes I don’t say a word for hours at a time. That can be uncomfortable for others. Then it’s often better if I’m just on my own. I don’t want to put others in a bad mood too.

Fresh air is good for me when I’m feeling bad, and eating healthy and getting a lot of sleep always helps me anyway. I’ve been careful about that for a while now. Sometimes I don’t go jogging for the first couple of days after my period has started if I don’t have the strength. It does drain some of my energy. Then I do everything at a slower pace. Especially in the few days before my period starts and on the first day of my period, but then everything gets better very quickly. I keep going to work as usual, though. But I’d stay at home if I ever felt really bad.