What can make everyday life easier?

If you’re well prepared, it doesn’t take long to make the bed again and everyone can get back to sleep quickly. For instance, you can

• protect the child’s mattress with waterproof covers or sheets. There are also washable protective covers for duvets and pillows.
• lay out clean pajamas, fresh bedding and sheets – or a second set of bedding ready to put on the bed.
• make sure you have enough time in the morning to do the washing and have the child shower.

Depending on how old the child is, they can also help to make the bed, or learn to do it themselves.

Covers, bedding and clothing sometimes still smell even after being washed. Rinsing them with warm water that has been mixed with baking soda or a few drops of eucalyptus oil can help get rid of the odor. Commercial baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) is available in pharmacies and drug stores.

Children who smell of urine may well be avoided at their kindergarten or school, or by their friends. For this and other reasons, it’s important that the child has a shower the morning after wetting the bed, so that he or she doesn’t smell. Airing out the room can help get rid of the smell, and scented oils or sprays might also be a good idea.

Morning hygiene routines – such as taking a shower and putting on lotion – can lower the chances of a rash, too. The child may get a rash if their skin has been in contact with urine for several hours. Rashes can be treated with ointments or creams that have zinc oxide or dexpanthenol in them, for instance. These can be prescribed by a doctor. Children who wear a diaper or special absorbent pants at night are more likely to develop rashes because their skin is exposed to urine for longer. Having eczema or other skin conditions also increases the likelihood of developing rashes.

The speed at which bladder control develops is influenced by genes, so bedwetting problems can repeat through different generations of the same family. The child might find it helpful to know that other people in the family had the same problem. That way, he or she will realize that bedwetting is nothing unusual and that people grow out of it sooner or later. It can also help to know that other children of the same age probably have the same problem, even if they never talk about it.

It is important for children to realize that there’s nothing wrong with them just because it’s taking a bit longer for them to stop having accidents at night. They may be just as developed, or even further than other children, in other areas. Knowing this can boost their self-esteem and make it easier for them to deal with the problem.

The role that emotional triggers might play in bedwetting has long been discussed. But worries and emotional problems are more likely to be a result of bedwetting, and not the cause: Children who wet their bed often feel ashamed or guilty and have low self-esteem. Most of them are very embarrassed about their bladder control problem. If friends or schoolmates find out about it, that makes it even worse.

Emotional problems are more likely to be a cause of bedwetting in cases where a child who used to be dry at night starts wetting their bed again. This is called secondary enuresis.

Many parents and families try to be patient about bedwetting problems. They help their child as best they can and wait until he or she “grows out of it.” But it’s not always easy for parents to stay calm or cheerful in the middle of the night. They may become impatient and annoyed, particularly if their child doesn’t seem to want to stop wetting the bed. But sensing that your parents are annoyed or exhausted is often difficult for a child to take.

The child’s self-esteem might also be affected if you keep trying out treatments that end up not working. It is important to be there for the child and make sure that he or she isn’t teased by siblings. The child’s self-esteem usually improves when the bedwetting stops.

Sometimes parents also feel embarrassed about their child wetting the bed, or feel ashamed of their child. They worry about what others might think or say about their child.

Many children probably feel the same way: They compare themselves with other children their age and worry about people finding out and making fun of them. For this reason, many children who wet the bed drink less or avoid situations that could be embarrassing, like going on class trips or sleeping at friends’ houses. Some children also refuse to have friends stay over at their house because they worry that their friends might notice things that could reveal their problem, like waterproof bed sheets or a urine smell.

But if the child would like to, it’s worth trying to let him or her stay overnight with understanding friends. Some children stay dry more easily if they sleep somewhere else. This may be because their sleep is lighter when they aren’t in their own bed. Having a change of clothes ready and wearing inconspicuous protective underwear can limit awkwardness if an accident does happen after all.

Some parents are afraid to talk about bedwetting with anyone outside of the family, such as with other mothers and fathers they know. But sharing your concerns with others can be a big help.