Strategies for family and friends

Family members and friends usually feel helpless. Often they want to help but don't know how. And some find the situation emotionally draining. The following ideas and suggestions might help you to support someone you are worried about:

• Treat them with respect.
• Be attentive and listen carefully.
• Use open, friendly body language.
• If they say they have feelings of guilt, accept that and don’t try to talk them out of it or point out that they are not helpful.
• Be careful with well-meaning advice.
• Accept their needs.
• Try to stay calm, open and honest, even if the conversation becomes difficult or one of you gets angry.
• Encourage them to seek professional help and support.
• Help them to schedule a doctor’s appointment.
• Go with them to counseling or therapy.
• Take talk of self-harm or suicide very seriously and seek professional help.
• Help them not to make any rash decisions while they are depressed (e.g. regarding their relationship with their partner).
• Help them with their daily routine: getting enough exercise, eating regularly and having enough social contact. You might, for instance, regularly go for a walk together at a specified time.
• Keep an eye on how other family members and friends are coping – they might be struggling with the situation too.
• Learn more about depression yourself (causes, how it might change over time, treatment options).
• Last but not least: look after yourself and, if necessary, talk about your own experiences and feelings with friends, family members, your partner or professionals.

It is important to keep reminding yourself that every person is different, behaves differently, and copes with things in their own way. So there’s no general advice that will work for everyone.

In Germany, the Federal Association of Families of People with Mental Health Disorders (BApK) provides information and advice.